Murphy's Military Laws

1. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
2. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy. - Field Marshall Helmuth Carl Bernard von Moltke
3. Friendly fire isn't.
4. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
5. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
6. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
7. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
8. Incoming fire has the right of way.
9. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
10. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
11. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
12. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
14. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
15. There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. - Winston Churchill
16. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
17. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
18. Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.
19. All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets:
    -printed at different scales;
    -uphill;
    -and in the rain.