Law of Research

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Gordon's First Law

If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.

Anthony's Law of Force

Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.

Schmidt's Law

If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

Lowery's Law

If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Sattinger's Law

It works better if you plug it in.

Wyszkowski's Second Law

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.

Law of Selective Gravity

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Jennings' Corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

Law of the Perversity of Nature

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology

There's always one more bug.

First Law of Revision

Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after - and only after - the plans are complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law)

Corollary : In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way, so as to expedite subsequent revision.

Second Law of Revision

he more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend and the more plans will have to be redrawn.

The Airplane Law

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

The Laws of Gardening

• Other people's tools work only in other people's yards.
• Fancy gizmos don't work.
• If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
• You get the most of what you need the least.

Lewis' Law

No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness

The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.

Laws of Computer Programming

I. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
II. Any given program costs more and takes longer.
III. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
IV. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
V. Any program will expand to fill available memory.
VI. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
VII. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it.
VIII. Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
IX. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
X. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Klipstein's Law

Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.

Klipstein's Second Law

You never find a lost article until you replace it.

Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations

Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.